- "Who the hell do you think you are, realy? The Gurren Brigade is more realistic honestly. Magestrix. NOW. Please note. I have left most of the spelling and grammar unchanged. By the sunwell, I thought I was bad "
Dewonker Rodimus Springsprocket Sunsight, Grand Engineerof Magister's Terrace, Commander of the XxlolcatsxX Quel'Danas Defence, Councilman and sycophant of the Silverlolz emperor is elven gnomish engineer currently residing in Magister's Terrace. Previously he was mainly known for ass-ault on Black Temple and redirecting the Manaforge's mana streams… upstream . Recently, he successfully defended Quel'danas from Naga invasion by the use of NISERTION. Although he claims to be independent, he is of obvious mixed blood ancestory.
Dewonker is pitifully short and chubby for an elf, but tall and skinny for a gnome. Unlike other mages, he keeps oils his cybernetic parts just in case. Becasue he used fel magic sources he fellinto fel addiction and becoming Blood Elf, nd a wreched. Eventually he had to have mutated bits replaced with JaAm and cybernetic organs.
Dewonker's movements tends to be exaggerated due to the implants. In combat he hits things with his metal parts.
Becasue Sunsight used fel spells, his body is covered in tattoos like Warlocks and Blood Mages have. These self-made tattoos providie fel energy amd 97% of his RDI of pure unadulterated hatred,
Dewonker's green eyes s shine with fel power. Little is known about source of that glow, but probably it was caused by overpowering in one of experiments made in Tempest Keep under the rule of Kael'thas.
Dewonker’s Ass is taunt and well rounded, and his leather chaps or skintight silk pants show it off.
Dewonker understands the underlying mechanics ofhte univers. And breaks the forth wall. He also uses Polymorph spell, because in his opinion: Polymorph is a spell for zoophile! Hunf hunf hunf.
Childhood and Third WarEdit
Dewonker was born from unknown parents, but plan that gnomish blood courses in his veins. Before Scourge's invasion on Quel'thalas, Sunsight was taught as Discipline priest in Sanctum of the Moon. During the training he signed a rule that he'll never do his enemy - that got him thinking about doing his enemies and formed his life path. When undead assault Qual'thalas he was one of the first who faced them in battle, standing in desperate battle at Plagueland's gate. During the battle he bravely saved Assyn Duskbreaker, young High Elf magister. Knowing that the battle soon will be over, Assyn in aid of Dewonker cast powerful blizzard that slowed attacking army, allowing them enough time to have mad angry hatefull buttsex. . Sunsight doesn't want to talk what happened next, when his virgin colon broke.
Soon after Arthas' army leaving, Dewonker alligned himself to prince Kael'thas. He relished joining the Blood Elves. After the battle he was trained by Assyn in arcane arts and sodomy kept him alive while others needed more after the loss of Sunwell. Duskbreaker was one of the most loyal Kael'thas followers and easily helped Dewonker to join their ranks and got him access to felblood.
Journey through OutlandEdit
Dewonker travelled to Outland with first group of Quel'thalas survivors. He begin to use poo sex magic during march through Hellfire Penisula, where Blood Elf was outnumbered by numerous forces of Fel Orcs. Battle ended when all mages focused their cum laden shit directly on hollow of Hellfire Citadel, consuming mighty fortress in a shitstorm.
His role in Outland Illidari battles is insignificant or unknown, only information tells that he supported assault on Tempest Keep and skillfully whored himself to the defending Draenei. He was rewarded by Kael'thas, gaining his own personal sodomy session with the king's energy. During one of experiments something stranged happened and Dewonker was found levitating in center of Netherstorm with lightnings going out from his anus. He was quickly revived, but he never said what he was doing when the accident happened. It was first time when strange blue glow of his pooper was noticed.
His arcane and whoring studies in Netherstorm enabled him to quickly gain rank in the slut council of Tempest Keep. Then Kael'tron gave him a choice, revealing his plan to transport whole Tempest Keep to Azeroth and destroy Outland: drink his pee and become a whore to the ruler of all that will be left of Outland after leaving of the dimensional fortress or go with little forces of Voren'thal to assault Shattrath. He chose the second option, keeping to his shot in the ass, not the mouth principle, and hoping to become ruler of new Shattrath.
Leaving Blood ElvesEdit
During march on Shattrath he saw Outland still in war and heard that his people are known as oppressors, but it was while the assault when he chose to align with Naaru. Shortly after he became a Scryer, which wasn't known to Kael'thas that time yet.
A month or two later he managed to meet his old friend, Assyn, who was under the rule of Illidan in Shadowmoon. The meeting didn't grow up to his expectations, as he only found that Duskbreaker become one of Fel Eclipsian Warlocks. He even tried to face him in combat to withdrew fel energy from him, but he underestimated the enemy. Assyn pined Dewonker , not forgetting that he was a sweet piece of ass during the Scourge's invasion. He tattoed him all over with demon tats and took him repeatedly and brutally before slapping him on the ass and letting him go.
Dwonker was PISSED. Shortly after battle in Shadowmoon he traveled to Netherstorm to spy Kael'thas forces and poo hideous fell energy form his mutated colon on the Manaforges. This activity wasn't enough for him, though. He prepared himself for assault on Black Temple. When army made of Aldor and Scryer volunteers arrived in Shadowmoon they find that not only they were preparing for this battle. Sunsight helped group of Aldor Draenei mages to disrupt Doomwalker for time long enough for Scryer to make a breach in the wall. Dzwonki faced Illidan himself at the roof of the Templeas the ass-ault group reached it. He got his vengeance, by sneeking around the dark elf and…. Returning the favour with arcane vengeance.
Sunsight took Cowl of Illidari High Lord, sensing energy kept in the artifact, magic that remembered days when his colen was tight and not full of mutant fel energy Being cautious as always, he showed the Cowl to Aldor priests first, who cleared it from fel influences of Illidan's demonic soul. But first, he searched captives for Assyn and found him just in time before he would have been banished to Xoroth by Aldor vindicator. Hoping that his could get vengeance for his butt, he send him to Sanctum of Stars to revive.
Kael'tron’s new allegiance to Burning Legion was for Dewonker a shock. It's said that he didn't believed at first and when Voren'thal confirmed that information the elf left Shattrath, going north and simply vanished for about 2 months. During that time occurred some serious accidents in Manaforges and Tempest Keep drifted into Crumbling Waste, taking significant damage.
Dzwonki then appeared shortly after Kael'tron’s defeat, just to see betrayer's body taken into portal by some surviving elves from Sunfury.
Back to AzerothEdit
Sunsight after about half a year spent fixing Tempest Keep's mechanisms, so that Naaru could get back to dimensional fortress. After this he was still seeking greater power, greater than even energy of Manaforges taken directly from Twisting Nether... He went back to Azeroth, to his hometown, Tranquillien. He assisted in restoring runestones on borders of Quel'thalas and travelled through plagued forests in search for cure for affliction of his homeland.
In one of these journeys he entered trollish city of Zul'Aman with group of daredevils. They were suprised when they found forest trolls strengthened enormously by their "gods" and vodoo magic. They sneaked through city defences and faced in battle Hex Lord Malacrass. When mad troll was about to win the battle, Dzwonki desperately pooed all over him and changed fate of the encounter. Finally he's taken Hex Shrunken Head that witch doctor was using previously against Dzwonki's group. This primitive relic seemed to be full of energy, previously unknown to any Quel'dorei. Unfortunately his status as a fel mutant came out because of this.
Trouble at Quel'DanasEdit
Sunsight just thought about going to Quel'Danas to reclaim the isle from rest of Arthas' undead when he was informed that Kael'thas is already there with even more terrible plans than before. This time it wasn't a big suprise for him. As one of the most skillful Scryers, he quickly get there with Shattered Sun Offensive. His group quickly entered Sunwell Plateau and find defenders unprepared. Even tough, battle in the Plateau was one of the hardest in his path. Anyway, place was perfect for Sunsight - when he tapped arcane from surroundings, his spells just pierced enemies. His group found admirable enemy in Kalecgos, whose arcane mastery was hard to imagine for any mage who battled him. The group also faced Felmyst, undead dragon, but heroes quickly managed to get rid of it.
During combat Dzwonki recognised Assyn by arcane magic. He couldn't believed he changed so much, using fel magic, but his power as felblood elf was admirable. Once more he saved his former friend's life, but now he forced him to pledge that he'll join forces of Shattered Sun. Progress of Sunsight's group allowed others to face Kil'jaeden and prevent him from entering Azeroth. After the assault Dzwonki was confronted by the Silverlolz emperor who demanded to be allowed to clense his taint with the power of JaAm! His fel tainted body parts were ripped from him and replaced with mechanical ones. He began to learn gnomish engineering because with his new biomechanical parts he would be come able of INSERTION, being able to become powerfull by intaking parts and JaAm raher from... expelling. Which was a great relief to all
Dzwonki renewed Magister's Terrace with massive use of Cybernetics and JaAm drawn from restored Sunwell. Being a new commander of Quel'Danas XxLolcatxX defence he ordered to put most powerful runstones Azeroth ever seen on the isle's strand. He was then warned by a sea witch, Lady under the sea, that queen Azshara's forces are going to take control and sink the island, so that it's energies will spread into the ocean, causing terrible storms and flooding shores all over the Azeroth. He Begged the emperor for halp. Assyn and the emperor quickly emerged to help tightening the defences,.
Just before arriving reinforcements, a severe storm hit the island, preventing ships from getting to Sun Reach Harbour. Fortunately the emperor had station JaA, clones there, enough to stop enemy that had time to prepare since the Sundering. Despite this he decided to risk everything he achieved. Sunsight INSERTED all the engineering equipment and students in Apex Point in order to create massive power, To make that happened, he shut down for just few seconds magic barriers protecting the island. The reinforcements were saved, but he was unable to turn the barrier back...
It came out that Naga were also prepared and in few seconds several groups threw powerful runestones back into the sea, making Quel'Danas defenceless. Just 5 minutes after whole strand was taken by Naga expeditionary forces, not facing any resistance. As they reached Sunwell Plateau, maximal vindicators sent by the emperor striked at them. Altough they were outnumbered by Naga and there was no possibility to win this battle, they desperately stand against the aggressors. Surprisingly, maximal paladins managed to slow the Naga by using Sunwell's light energies and even stopped them at the Shepherd's Gate. The situation get worse when Leviathans attacked the gate, just making a breach in Plateau's walls. Soon after, vindicators were surrounded by myrmidons and sea beasts.
When it seemed that there's no hope, something strange came from darkness, destroying anything on its way. It came out it's torrent of poo pooped by Assyn and blood mages under his command. Although using fecal magic on the island was now forbidden, Assyn chose to defend it any way he could. The battle continued in flashes of holy light used by vindicators and unholy stenches that poos were spreading. Finally, a foood of sewage made a way for vindicators to get away from the envelopment. As they left, all blood mages from upper floor rained fire at the Naga, making a shitstorm that wasn't seen since times of Kael'trons battles in Outland. Naga were suprised to find that Magister's Terrace was completly undefended and deserted. In fact, there was one High Elf working at his quarter. When blood mages were raining fire at invading forces in Panhelion Plaza, a long pillar full of green fluid crawled out from Magister Terrace's tower. It began to shine brighter than the sun and then a magical lightning shotted from it into the sea, making it glow. Secret Dewonker's weapon drew energy from the surroundings just like he did, sending it back in one focused arcane beam. It seemed that sea begins to boil near the island. Anyway, Naga were now cut out of reinforcements.
Sunsight quickly teleported himself into Plateau and took control over blood mages. Assyn now took command of the wretched. Koortz and other pilgrim priests took care over wounded vindicators. Dewoanker explained other commanders that his weapon will not work forever, so they decided to assault. Spellbreaker striked first when blood mages stopped raining fire. Now all magisters, blood mages and even students directed their spells at enemies before the wall. Wretched and spellbreakers quickly threw rest of the Naga out of Plateau. Then mages levitated down to the first floor, supporting melee groups with immense fire barrage. After taking back ruined Shepherd's Gate, group of vindicators and priests sent reached counterattacking defenders.
Tytanic battle took all day. Once more blood mages and Assyn summoned Fecal matter to hunt rest of the Naga. At the end of the day few of defenders were alive, but whole Quel'Danas was coverd in bodies of dead Naga and terryfying sea monsters. Everybody was aware that protection granted by arcane pillar could be maintained only for one night. A small group of betrayed the queen and helped defenders to hunt rest of agressors. Survivors then decided to have a butt sex orgy after smearing their bodies with JaAm.
Everyone in Quel'thalas sensed that something strange is happening to Sunwell when vindicators used the JaAm as lube, but Lor'themar Theron was unable to send forces to investigate this because of the storm. Everybody was shocked when Quelrath, wounded and covered in blue Naga's blood, arrived from the portal and told grim news about invasion. The emperor was rather suspicious about it, knowing that Dewanker have some Naga "friends" and maybe wants to overthrow his authority. He was about to send a little group to just investigate strange accidents, when large groups of adventurers began to enter the portal to defend their source of power.
Before midnight, Quel'danas had fully organised defending forces in Sun Reach Harbour, Magister's Terrace and Sunwell Plateau. Sunsight chose to shut off JaAm pillar in order to keep his weapon as a secret and not to waste isle's energy. He knew that Quel'danas is still being observed because just as all reinforcements from Quel'thalas arrived, the storm which was now useless, stopped. Volunteers tried to move massive runestones back to island, but everyone knew that it could be done only by more JaAm than they had.
At dawn four of five runestones were in place. All defence was prepared and ready to answer to any attack. Workers were pulling last runestone back to the shore when a grim shadow appeared at the sky. A monstrous shape turned out be image of queen Azshara. A powerful voice thundered from the sky:
Your queen is merciful. Leave the island in one hour and be saved.
Then the image vanished and left defenders in silence. Works on the runestones were hastened, but there was no chance to activate the barrier within one hour. 15 minutes before zero hour jAaM pillar once more shot its beam into the ocean.
Dewanker and his friends were in Sanguine Chamber when they heard screams. They run just to see that just over the Sunwell a gigantic portal was opening with a great whirl of water coming from it. Queen herself opened the portal to the eye of Maelstorm. Everyone in sight able to spell tried to close it, but without any effect. After few seconds whole island was sinking in the ocean coming from the portal. Sunsight and his group managed to go into a shelter and created a desperate plan.
Dzwonki teleported to Magister's Terrace and directed JaAm pillar's beam directly into Sunwell, making it Recharge with JaAm. . After forming groups they all met near the eye of cataclysm. Dzwonki got back in a second and everyone casted most powerful spells they knew. Priests transformed Sunwell's JaAm energies into great Huge feets while mages used its arcane energies to moe them to the portal. Immense feets little dancing ruined Sunwell Plateau building and was noticable even in Silverlolz. Water coming from the portal boiled and evaporated in a second. When isle was saved, casters aimed spells through the portal. At first, they haven't seen any effect. After few minutes of maintaining unimaginable feetw barrage, a terrible scream of the queen was heard in all Quel'thalas. The portal slowly begin to close.
Although all heroes were alive, there was no place in Quel'danas not covered by corpse. Nagas took terrible losses, but there wasn't any undamaged building in Quel'danas.
Sailors then said they've seen gigantic clouds coming from Maelstorm, to proove it, the weather was clouded and rainy all the next year in whole Azeroth. Gadgetzan in Tanaris desert was flooded by monsoon.
Sunwell JaAm stabilised after about a month after the battle. For that time, Blood Elves once more suffered from the withdrawal. Anyway, source of their energy was saved.
Dzwonki now commands rebuilding of Sunwell Plateau and plans to make a big fortress from the island. He's also helping Velen to restore Exodar as a dimensional ship in exchange for lost vindicators. To be honest, he still doesn't like those blue, two-legged pigs, as he calls Maximals and would rather see them leaving Azeroth. Silverlolz Emperor and his council congratulated him, but couldn't award him any more. Sunsight is still headmaster of Magister's Terrace, where students can now study magic helping to rebuild ruined island.