Hurrrrm, lets see what we have here
Please note this a fictional story about a Horde character rising to power so not for alliance. Please put comments on Discussion.
Ohhhh. Defensive much? Perhaps if you weren’t trying to pass yourself off as yet another all conquering blood elf emperor, people might take you with a bit more seriousness. The last one was more literate too.PH33Rana is a Blood Elven member of the Kirin Tor, now she is the leader of the The Knig hits of The JaAm.
Early History Edit
Little is known of PH33Rana's childhood. Because its not kewliez or something.
The Third War Edit
Shortly before the Third War she joined the Silvermoon Sunwell Guardians. When Arthas(The Future LicK King) invaded Quel'Thalas she was on duty. She fought bravely against the undead but was overwhelmed. She woke up 9 days later to find Silvermoon destoyed. But she’s not dead. Really. She feels happy. She’s going for a walk.
She had gone to a hidden High Elf Camp shortly afterwards but never forgot the Third War. Same as every other stinking blood elf. I meen we’re talking genocidal event here, with 80% of the whole race wiped out, you’d think she wouldn’t forget wouldn’t you? But then Scourge happened. PH33Rana escaped with the help of her brother Incestuous and layed two liches One years after that she became a Blood Elf and gone back to Silvemoon to rebuild and became a member of the RSPPLGCHDHDM. (royal society for the persivation of pregnant, lesbian, cat girl half dragon half demon mutants) Two months after that she gone to Silverpine Forrest but saw with horror that her fellow Kirin Tor Trying to kill her. Probably because they realised what a horrible excuse for a useless sue she way. After they were defeated she left the Kirin Tor. At least she tells her self that. After all its better than admitting to her blood elven pride that she ran like a scared child from a group who rejected her demonically tainted ass outright.
Wrath of the Lich King Edit
But her leaving of the Kirin Tor did not last. After much crying, wheedling and begging she was allowed to rejoining as a representative of the Horde. But she had other plans. (DUN DUN DUM!)
The Ruler of Silvermoon Edit
Shortly afterwards PH33Rana slayed a random NPC that anyone over level 60 has gotten, and saved a man in the Eastern Plaguelands from mad ghouls. But just when gaining trust from Lor'themar Theron he was killed by a Night Elf with the name Ben Kruger. Now let us think about this. Ben Kruger. Have you ever heard such an unelven name? NO? no. good. On with the story When Terrana reached the dying Regent Lord who bairly trusted her he told her that because of her of her leadership and loyalty he declared her Queen of The Blood Elves. Head anything more fairytale? Well yes, even fairy tails have more internal consistency than this. How does a first amongst equals appoint a queen?
Invasion of Ironforge Edit
Shortly after PH33Rana became a powerful leader she found out about King Magni Bronzebeard being deceased and invaded Dun Morogh. Hang on. When did the dwarf die? How did the dwarf die? Vhut is theeese sheet? With all the Dwarven soldiers being at their king's funeral in the Badlands, Terrana sneaked a Blood Elf army disguised as High Elves through the Dwarven Border. Because nobody, NOBODY managed to notice an army of high elves showing up with green fucking eyes. Two hours later they reached Ironforge and attacked. The Dwarven soldiers arived to late and were pushed back. Pushed back? Lets see, Ironforge. If any place in Azaroth could stand a siege for years without effort, it’s the city of the dwarves. We’re saying that NOBODY niced them, nobody even challenged them, the blood elves just walked in the front gates?
Death of Darnassus Edit
One month later PH33Rana (now leader of the PH33R mi Empire) killed most of the Night Elven army and burned Darnassus only Tyrande Whisperwind, The Druids, Civilian women and children were spared. Which was hilarious, cause every single sentinel tossed their glaves aside and tossed on a hanbok. So the blood elves increased their karmic debt by massacring a bunch of civilian men, while their military strength was barley touched. But the Human army arrived and engaged the Ph33rz0m3 army. Shortly afterwards Ph33rana and a group of mages captured Tyrande and escaped. Despite, ya know, having already captured her. WTF OVER?
Destruction of the Draenei Edit
After ward's an invasion was planned on Azuremyst Isle, but as ph33rana's forces approached the Draenei and every other mother lover who thought the law was more important then their OMG bullet point fiction were waiting. Her ships were burnt, she was captured, and sentenced to death of 2000000000 paper cuts, followed by being tossed into a tub of lemon juice. Even Valen and the Na’ruu approved.
While I am in favour of planning the defeat of all other races, particularly the dwarves and humans who betrayed us and left us to the mercies of the scourge, there are a few things that need to be noted. 1) Dwarves aint stupid. They will check our eyes. 2)The female night elves are the dangerous ones. The druids are even MORE dangerous. Don’t let them go. 3) Those Draenei have a GOD in their basement. Kael and 70% of our entire race couldn’t purge them from outland. We don’t have his numbers, and Liadran might just lead the Scryers in its defence if the exodar was to be attacked. Lets try avoiding a civil war right now if we can, we’ve still got those bastard human fucking high elves to deal with.
In other words, lets try and deal with the reality of the people we need to kill, rather than a wishfull fantasy. Perhaps carrying "coals" for the magestrix will make you realise how much hard work is involved. <3 and punches, Chentinal